Copyright (C) 2008 Robert S. Rosson. All rights reserved.
Don Imus recently returned to radio and TV as I predicted on these ethereal pages. This demonstrates America’s affinity for redemption as well as the primacy of commercial advertising in our society. I now predict that one of his early guests will be President George W. Bush and that the interview will go something like this:
Imus: Welcome to the program, Mr. President
Bush: Thank you, Don. I’m pleased to be here and especially happy that you’re back on the air.
Imus: Let’s get right to it. How are things going in Iraq?
Bush: We’re making progress, the surge is working and we’re creating a peaceful, stable democracy in the Middle East.
Imus: Judging from the results of the last election, the American public doesn’t agree. Most people feel the war was a big mistake.
Bush: We must stay the course, not cut and run.
Imus: Even though violence is decreased, many Iraqis and U.S. troops are still getting killed. And the government has not met most of the goals we set for them.
Bush: In Iraq we toppled a murderous dictator and prevented him from using weapons of mass destruction against us,
Imus: Which he never had! Who are you kidding, Mr. President?
Bush: Watch it! Besides I had to finish the work my father didn’t do.
Imus: But who’s your daddy now? Rummy?
Bush: I canned him. It’s Shooter Cheney.
Imus: I thought he was convicted of lying.
Imus: I thought he was convicted of lying.
Bush: That’s SCOOTER Libby! Why don’t you ask me about North Korea and their nuc-u-lar ambitions?
Imus: Why can’t you say nuc-le-ar? And you better watch out for Iran in this regard.
Bush: If the Iranians get nuc- uh - nuc-uh - atomic bombs, I’ll invade them and turn them into a peaceful, stable democracy.
Imus: Not again!
Bush: That’s enough, I-Man. Let’s change the subject.
Imus: OK. Who do you like in the current Republican race?
Bush: I favor the views of that preacher feller, but he doesn’t have a prayer. Heh, Heh.
Imus: How about the Democrats? They’ll be running either a woman or an African-American.
Bush: You don’t rate very well with either of those groups, Imus.
Imus: This is not about me! Many people fear that we’re in the midst of either a Clinton or Bush dynasty.
Bush: Don’t worry. Laura is too nice and too smart to get involved in politics and my girls aren’t interested. Jeb is a possibility but who knows?
Imus: Thank you, Mr. President. Come back again.
Bush: Thanks, Don. Ask me before next January, after which I’ll be history.
Published originally in YJHM February 14, 2008
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