Copyright (C) 2008 Robert S. Rosson. All rights reserved.
Dramatis Personae
Kierek, Kelley: castle guards
Macspit: Duke of York
Kristen: a harlot
Silvia: Duchess of York
Bruno: Lord Chamberlain
Macspit: Duke of York
Kristen: a harlot
Silvia: Duchess of York
Bruno: Lord Chamberlain
SCENE: Dukedom of York
ACT I
Scene I (Outside a hunting lodge near the Duke’s castle)
Kierek: Who goes there?
Kelley: ‘Tis Kelley, come to relieve thee.
Kierek: Thou art welcome. The cold doth rattle my bones whilst I watch over our lord’s “hunting”.
Kelley: With whom doth he consort this time?
Kierek: ‘Tis the beautiful Kristen, who doth pleasure the Duke.
Kelley: Oh, it’s a mighty price to pay for such sport—but well worth it I’m told.
Kierek: That mayest be, but methinks she providest the very same services available to us in the town brothel--at little more than the cost of a pint.
Kelley: Aye, but noblemen believe the dearer the price the better the quality of the experience. But away with thee now; the Duke emergest from his tryst. (Exit Kierek.
Kelley: ‘Tis Kelley, come to relieve thee.
Kierek: Thou art welcome. The cold doth rattle my bones whilst I watch over our lord’s “hunting”.
Kelley: With whom doth he consort this time?
Kierek: ‘Tis the beautiful Kristen, who doth pleasure the Duke.
Kelley: Oh, it’s a mighty price to pay for such sport—but well worth it I’m told.
Kierek: That mayest be, but methinks she providest the very same services available to us in the town brothel--at little more than the cost of a pint.
Kelley: Aye, but noblemen believe the dearer the price the better the quality of the experience. But away with thee now; the Duke emergest from his tryst. (Exit Kierek.
Enter Macspit and Kristen
Macspit: Thank thee my dearest Kristen. Thou hast given me great joy. I shall forward the necessary gold to thy procurer.
Kristen: Thank thee my lord. Thou hast pleased me more than any of my other Jonathans. I pray I shall see thee again in short order. (Exeunt.
Kristen: Thank thee my lord. Thou hast pleased me more than any of my other Jonathans. I pray I shall see thee again in short order. (Exeunt.
Scene II (The Duke’s castle)
Enter the Duke and Duchess
Macspit: How now my beautiful wife.
Silvia: I am well my lord now that thou drawest near. I have so missed thee from our marriage bed, source of my joy and fulfillment. How went the hunt?
Macspit: Verily, I have achieved great satisfaction therein, my love. I didst bed-- er bag a wild boar and a most lovely doe.
Silvia: Good. I shall have the servants prepare them for a banquet.
Macspit: Ah—that won’t be necessary dearest. I have already so instructed them.
Silvia: So be it then. Let us off to bed for an afternoon of ecstasy.
Macspit: Forgive me dearest. Let us delay our pleasure a bit since I am exhausted from my amorous—I mean--arduous hunt.
Silvia: So be it my lord. ‘Til then I shall dream of our next encounter. (Exit Silvia.
Silvia: I am well my lord now that thou drawest near. I have so missed thee from our marriage bed, source of my joy and fulfillment. How went the hunt?
Macspit: Verily, I have achieved great satisfaction therein, my love. I didst bed-- er bag a wild boar and a most lovely doe.
Silvia: Good. I shall have the servants prepare them for a banquet.
Macspit: Ah—that won’t be necessary dearest. I have already so instructed them.
Silvia: So be it then. Let us off to bed for an afternoon of ecstasy.
Macspit: Forgive me dearest. Let us delay our pleasure a bit since I am exhausted from my amorous—I mean--arduous hunt.
Silvia: So be it my lord. ‘Til then I shall dream of our next encounter. (Exit Silvia.
Enter Bruno.
Bruno: Forgive me my lord. I have a matter of great delicacy to discuss with thee.
Macspit: Go ahead dear Bruno. Thou shouldst have no fear of consulting me on any matter of state.
Bruno: Well my lord. It doth appear that rather large quantities of gold are missing from the treasury, the receipts for which are drawn personally by your lordship for what are called “personal expenses”.
Macspit: And what of it? Do I not control my estate absolutely?
Bruno: Aye my lord, but rumor has it that these same amounts have appeared in the possession of a well known procurer of exotic services, and these things are also known to the townspeople, who pay high tithes, whilst the procurer payest none.
Macspit: By the gods--I am exposed! The fair Silvia will soon know of this adventure and will surely have murderous thoughts.
Bruno: Aye my lord. Many great leaders throughout history would have been prudent to resist the temptations of the flesh.
Macspit: I pray thee dear Bruno. Order my horse saddled and provide me with two attendants and provisions for a fortnight. Do this for me post haste and secretly, so that I may go forth before I am confronted with my indiscretions. I shall see that thou art well rewarded, (be there any gold left in the treasury). And if thou canst find my son, Patter, wherever he be wenching, notify him that he shall become Duke as soon as my departure is secure.
Bruno: It shall be done as thou wishest my lord. I bid thee safe journey. (Exit Bruno.
Macspit: Go ahead dear Bruno. Thou shouldst have no fear of consulting me on any matter of state.
Bruno: Well my lord. It doth appear that rather large quantities of gold are missing from the treasury, the receipts for which are drawn personally by your lordship for what are called “personal expenses”.
Macspit: And what of it? Do I not control my estate absolutely?
Bruno: Aye my lord, but rumor has it that these same amounts have appeared in the possession of a well known procurer of exotic services, and these things are also known to the townspeople, who pay high tithes, whilst the procurer payest none.
Macspit: By the gods--I am exposed! The fair Silvia will soon know of this adventure and will surely have murderous thoughts.
Bruno: Aye my lord. Many great leaders throughout history would have been prudent to resist the temptations of the flesh.
Macspit: I pray thee dear Bruno. Order my horse saddled and provide me with two attendants and provisions for a fortnight. Do this for me post haste and secretly, so that I may go forth before I am confronted with my indiscretions. I shall see that thou art well rewarded, (be there any gold left in the treasury). And if thou canst find my son, Patter, wherever he be wenching, notify him that he shall become Duke as soon as my departure is secure.
Bruno: It shall be done as thou wishest my lord. I bid thee safe journey. (Exit Bruno.
Macspit: So I am done; depart I must. Such fate awaits who yield to Lust.
The End.
Published originally in YJHM March 26, 2008
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