Organ Recital

Robert S. Rosson, M.D.
Copyright (C) 2002 Robert S. Rosson. All rights reserved.

“- - - - paying for organs would be cost effective because dialysis costs much more than the transplant operation itself.”  Nicholas D. Kristof, New York Times, November 12, 2002

Organ transplantation has become a major lifesaving measure for many patients with chronic diseases. A severe shortage of donor organs, however, means that many potential recipients die while on waiting lists. The idea that payment for organs will help alleviate the shortage might lead to announcements like this:

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Welcome shoppers to TRANSPLANT CITY! We have the largest assortment of transplantable organs you can find anywhere---new or pre-owned, large or small, living or cadaveric. Check out our low, low prices; we will not be undersold!

Our organs come from all over the world and are guaranteed free of AIDS, hepatitis, anthrax, smallpox, Lyme Disease and chiggers. We pay the highest prices to our donors or to their survivors. We have just received a big shipment of organs from Chinese prison inmates; these are offered at bargain basement prices.

Our organs are the freshest and best preserved. For a small additional fee we will perfuse your organ with vitamins or anabolic steroids for long-lasting enhanced performance.

In our pre-owned department we feature whole livers or split grafts. Our kidneys, hearts, lungs and pancreases are the highest quality you can find.

Also visit our newly harvested organs grown from stem cells. Unfortunately federal regulations prohibit the use of human stem cells, so we use those of the genetically finest fruit flies and worms.

As always our money back guarantee is in effect. If you are not completely satisfied with your organ, bring it back within 90 days for a no questions asked refund (sorry no cash; store credit only).

Delivery to your operating room is free. Use your credit card or arrange for our no money down, zero interest rate financing. If you have health insurance, we give volume discounts to selected HMO’s in our network.

Welcome shoppers to TRANSPLANT CITY!

Published originally in YJHM. December 11, 2002